Courtesy of the Onion: Seeking Cure for Obesity

CHICAGO, IL—In spite of billions of dollars spent and decades of research, scientists at the University of Chicago said Monday that the scientific community is no closer to finding a cure for the potentially fatal disease of obesity.

onion_obesity “The obesity epidemic in this country has public-health authorities panicking, and with good reason,” said Dr. Seong-Hun Kim, a research associate at the university’s department of neurobiology, pharmacology, and physiology. “According to the latest government statistics, 30.6 percent of the adult population and 16.5 percent of children under 19 are obese. As researchers, we feel the same sort of helplessness that many victims of obesity feel.”
Many obesity sufferers have expressed frustration over the medical community’s inability to cure them.
“I came down with obesity two years after I got married,” 41-year-old Oklahoma City resident Fran Torley said. “I know it was hard for my husband to watch me suffer from this disease. When he caught obesity a year later, he got so depressed, he couldn’t do anything but sit on the couch. Some days, we sit and watch television from dawn till dusk, hoping for news of a breakthrough.”
Kim said he sees no cure on the horizon.
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